Talking to Christian Singles About Marriage

We sat at the head table and I sure was glad that most of the hoopla was over. All I wanted to do was grab a bite to eat before we cut the wedding cake, but my uncle stopped me just as I was going to take a bite.

He said, “Always keep God first and you’ll be fine. Remember that you marriage comes before anyone or anything. It’s not about your mother, father, sister, or brother anymore, it’s about your marriage. Keep God first and your marriage second and you’ll always be ok”.

That was the first dose of Christian marriage advice I received. Before the wedding no one really gave us advice from a Godly perspective, everyone just questioned our decision.

-Aren’t you too young?
-Are you rushing it?
-You have your whole life ahead of you

While those are valid points that any Christian single should consider before he or she gets married; there’s still so much more to it that barely gets covered.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

This verse has a lot of practical meaning to me. When you have a marriage that’s built on the foundation of Christ, you have an added bonus, not a hindrance. A lot of people will mention the bad things about marriage, but we as Christians should be uplifting couples, as well as educating them.

As this verse points out to me, when all the trials, tribulations, and attacks come down on you, you have someone right there with you to pray with you, support you, and help you make it to the light.

That’s how I see marriage. Yes, it’s important for Christian singles to keep a few basic things in mind. However, it’s not always about getting your life together so you can get married. Sometimes getting married helps you get your life together.

Because let’s face it, you’ll always want more; More money, a better promotion, longer vacations, and if you listen to the crowd that tells you that you must have all these things before you get married, you might find that you’ll never get married.

Still, there are a few things that we all should mention when talking to Christian singles about marriage.

Make sure you are getting married at the right time for your life. This shouldn’t be a rushed decision, but also keep in mind that “rushing” isn’t a concrete concept.

Ensure that you have been honest with your partner and they have been honest with you. What are your expectations for marriage? What expectations do they have?

Why are you getting married? Have you taken time to pray about it? What has God told you?

Ensure that you complete some sort of premarital preparation. Counseling isn’t for everyone, but I find Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry to be an excellent resource for engaged couples. I also recommend that each pair have a copy of the book and workbooks.

May 26 2008 | Christian Life | No Comments »